2014 Strickland Family Quotes of the Year!!

2014 Strickland Quotes of the Year!!

Merry Christmas 2014! At this time of year, we are so grateful to remember the Reason for the Season. To help you get in the mood for a great and meaningful Christmas, we hope you’ll enjoy this short video by The Piano Guys, David Archuleta and other Mormon artists. The video, from the world’s largest live nativity, is a great way to ponder the miracle of the birth of Jesus Christ.

And now, the moment our fans have been waiting for: It’s time to reveal our 2014 Strickland Family Quotes of the Year! These are actual verbatims, recorded in the moment – admittedly, on most occasions, to the chagrin of the speaker. TV sitcom writers would have a field day hangin’ with the Stricklands …

Adversity

The trials of life might or might not make us stronger. But they definitely make us more quotable.

"I can't sleep for wondering what ever happened to tetherball." – Mom

"Life is so hard when your burrito doesn't cooperate." – Cati

"I've been told it's probably just a parasite, so I'm not too worried." – Zac

"We may be a few minutes late. Mom and Nate are duct-taping the computer." – Dad

"Adulting is hard." – Cati

"So there I was. Getting pressed into a bag of sticks by a wall of jello." – Zac

"Fifteen minutes of cold? That's not cool!" – Megan

"This thing is a cheap, cheap piece of cheapness." – Dad

"You just stole my adorableness." – Nate

"I just got reprimanded for stabbing a box." – Nate

"What you need is to get into a terrible accident." – Zac

"You just karate chopped my hormones." – Dad

"I'm so tired that I can't hear straight." – Dad

"If this ain't the flu, it's the flu's first cousin." – Dad

"I was worrying about it before you were worrying about me not worrying about it." –Nate

"My hair won't go in a sock right now." – Megan

"I just don't want my zits to be all like, 'Hey, look at me.'" – Megan

"I forgot that I'm forgetful." – Dad

"Those scissors should be SO embarrassed." – Dad

"I finally got it right, but it was wrong." – Pam

"I slept really well until I couldn't sleep." – Mom

"Pull out the floorboards! Here is my beating heart!" – Zac

Are We There Yet?

Guidance from the time- and direction-challenged.

"Was I somewhere?" – Megan

"Wait. This is where I am, right?" – Mom

"This car is why God made U-turns." – Zac

"How am I supposed to find it if I don't know where it is?" – Megan

"I don't want to get in this car. The steering wheel is on the wrong side." – Zac

"I didn't hear myself." – Mom

"I think this is the group I think it is." – Nate

"I swear! I go away for two years, and it's like I was gone for two years." – Zac

"It's Fast Sunday? Since when?" – Megan

Romance

Ah, those special occasions when our hearts turn to love. Or not.

"Did your parents pay you to date me?" – Cati

"When I'm dating someone, all the guys want me. When I'm not dating someone, there's not a guy to be found." – Cati

"It's mentally unhealthy to have a snake bite you to make a guy like you." – Cati

"Anyone out there who is dying to be engaged, be my roommate. I'm on my second one this year who has gotten engaged. Apparently I'm good luck." – Cati

"I kissed my teeth." – Zac

"I don't know how to get married. I mean, I've never done it before." – Zac

"Mom, do you have any makeup remover I can borrow?" – Nate

"Did I tell you about my experience in the closet?" – Dad

"At least we're nice about saying hurtful things to each other." – Cati

"I'm gonna take a shower, and then I'll be gorgeous too." – Zac

"Don't be together together." – Mom

The Three Rs

Readin’, ’ritin’ and ’rithmetic at their genius best.

"I don't have any trouble with algebra. I just don't know how to do arithmetic." – Mom

"I just had an actual Spanish conversation. In Spanish!" – Dad

"You're gonna mispronounce the misspelling." – Nate

"I love that song. It coolified grammar." – Dad

"If you're gonna butcher the English language, please butcher it appropriately."  -- Mom

"I'm in favor of against it." – Nate

"There's actual tests and stuff that say that watching SpongeBob, like, lowers your IQ level." – Nate

"I hope all is going to went well with the upcoming baptism that was scheduled for last weekend." – Dad

"Cati, you just went from nineteen to nonteen!" – Dad

"I'm like the Shakespeare of fuzzy animals." – Zac

"Who needs school when you have Google?" – Nate

"For the first time, I have a phone that's smarter than me." – Zac

Etiquette

We are law-abiding models of high-society manners and decorum.

"It was so amazing that we had synchronized burps." – Mom

"Our Family Home Evening activity was a wholesome discussion about tongue piercings." – Dad

"The worst part is, you're making me laugh while I have spinach in my teeth." – Mom

"I'm not being attitude-y. I'm just right." – Tabby

"Oh my GOSH! Someone up there is going the speed limit! Hurry UP!" – Megan

"Half the reason I enjoy things is so I can criticize them." – Zac

"Somebody better move this body out of here before the missionaries get here." – Megan

"I am pants-on-the-ground convinced." – Zac

"No, Zac! Bad Zac!" – Nate

"I feel so normal. It's weird." – Nate

"Now shut up and open your mouth." – Zac

"I done stabbed people." – Cati

"This family is like the restricted section of the Hogwarts library." – Tabby

"Only in our family is normal a bad thing." – Nate

"I am a law-abiding citizen, except when I choose not to be." – Dad

"I want a car with a trunk that somebody can't shove a dead body into." – Cati

Dear Derriere

Sorry, butt if you don't like bathroom humor, you better skip this section. Warning: It's cheeky.

"I like hitting butts. I have a problem." – Megan

"I'm not jealous of the toilet anymore." – Mom

"I waited, and waited, and waited for the toilet to flush. And then I realized it wasn't automatic." – Megan

"Why do I have a roll of toilet paper on my head?" – Nate

"Stop eating the toilet paper and look at me." – Megan

"Toilet paper doesn't taste good." – Tabby

"You're all about buns." – Dad

"OK, raise your hand if you've ever heard the word 'puking' in a family prayer before today." – Dad

"Dad, your pants are sexy." – Nate

The Well-Informed

Why let facts get in the way of a great quote?

"I'm 100 percent convinced that I might be right." – Dad

"Oh wait, those aren't little kids. Those are people!" – Tabby

"This is a perk of my depression." – Cati

"I left them in the fridge to stay warm." – Mom

Body of Work

Because everybody could use some spare parts.

"Give me your foot. Oops, I didn't mean to say 'foot.' Give me your OTHER foot." – Megan

"Megan stabbed me today because I was doing weird things with my lips." – Nate

"Don't look at my eyebrows when they're doing things." – Megan

"Your eyes look like they're on their last legs." – Dad

"Hand over your nose hairs." – Dad

"I decided to give my face the day off." – Dad

"Nate, I'm gonna barbecue your chin." – Dad

"Leggings aren't pants. They're just extra skins." – Dad

"Nate's making his leg's chest muscles bounce." – Dad

"Her body can't make up its mind." – Nate

"Look! We're doing no-look elbow dancing." – Dad

"I just walked into my own breath." – Megan

"Was your honker bonked?" – Mom

"I think my nose is unconscious." – Dad

"Don't judge my lips." – Megan

"She keeps blinking on my skin." – Cati

Culinary Arts

Ready for some fine dining? Bon appetit!

"Elder Davis looked at the frog for a long time. 'Wanna eat it?' To my eternal shame, I actually hesitated." – Zac

"New skill learned: How to eat a frog." – Zac

"I am not a pasta racist." – Nate

"It never occurred to me that there would be ingredients in ramen." – Dad

"Aaaaagh! It's eating me!" – Dad, after sinking chest-deep into a snowbank

"You know you're a Strickland when you have to go to the freezer to get Frosted Flakes." – Nate

"Ever since I ate a raw fish, everything else is, like, whatever." – Cati

"It's not like all I ate was goat." – Zac

"You're in the fruit-throwing hall of shame right now." – Dad

"I love sunny-side-up eggs, just without the sunny part." – Megan

"There's fewer calories if you don't use a plate." – Dad

"Mmmm. What delicious bacteria." – Nate

"Someday, there'll be a way to eat cereal while you're in the shower." – Nate

"Look at all these guts. Who wants 'em?" – Megan

"It's not weird to eat them alive." – Megan

"Let's take seafood and turn it into a paste that you squeeze out of a tube." – Dad

"When Blake and Tyler eat cereal, they do it with spoons!" – Nate

"I was a vegetarian for one day. And then my parents made bacon for breakfast the next morning." – Megan

"I really like chunky chocolate milk. It's like eating a bowl of cereal without all the healthy bits." – Dad

"Whatever this is looks like the best part of whatever this was." – Dad

"Glass doesn't bounce." – Nate

Animal Kingdom

Man’s best friends would be lost without us.

"I just went cat tipping." – Nate

"Bunnies breed like rabbits." – Megan

"They have chickens, not roosters." – Megan

"You're drowning the fish." – Mom

"I'm gonna cat-tail your face." – Dad

"I'm gonna pirahna you." – Tabby

"It was a huge multi-legged spider." – Mom

"You hit my chicken with your computer." – Mom

Philosophical Pearls

Wisdom in its purest form.

"See, that's one of the advantages of being Mormon. You never have to worry about hangovers." – Dad

"If there is a woman in the room, there will be at least one guy who will be confused the whole time." – Nate

"Don't believe everything you believe on the internet." – Tabby

"I believe in being a hypocrite pertaining to my own advice." – Zac

"No one will know, unless they know." – Zac

"Clothes don't have to match to be fly." – Zac

"That's telling. I don't really know what it tells, but it's telling." – Dad

"I bet Native Americans get mad when they hear Americans complaining about illegal immigrants." – Megan

"I think dads were made for spoiling daughters." – Cati

"Man oh man, Moses is my homeboy." – Zac

Family Relations

It’s all in the name of love.

"I have something to say. ... Why are you guys all looking at me?" – Megan

"I'm never ever doubting you again. For now." – Tabby

"We all hugged and cried and generally acted like females." – Mom

"First things first. We have to go take a selfie in front of the license plate." – Dad

"I'm gonna strangle your afro." – Tabby

"We want you to be by yourself with all of us." – Mom

"Cati, take the picture. Mom doesn't know how to selfie." – Megan

Great Expectations

We sure do set a high bar for ourselves.

"We're going to go be normal people, even if we have to pretend." – Mom

"Did you guys clean the house on purpose?" – Cati

"Nate, at least wait till college to quit school." – Cati

"Getting whacked in the face with a soccer ball was the most fun I've had in a while." – Dad

"I'm gonna have my own bathroom for the first time in my life. I'll probably never want to get married after this." – Cati

"If I don't win, I'm gonna, like, snap my fingers." – Nate

"Megan, ever thought about being a librarian? Surrounded by books and hang out with weird people all day. Sounds perfect for you." – Dad

"The only way I get friends is if I pay them." – Mom

"Y'know, we could have been dumb and brainless, but nooo, you wouldn't let us watch SpongeBob Squarepants." – Nate

"Why do you have to learn math and stuff in school when you can just Google it?" – Nate

"I want to be sketchy." – Mom

"I can't wait until I'm a mom or a dad." – Nate

"I learned how to twerk today." – Nate

"One of my favorite things is when I get complimented for my socks." – Nate

"I'm a very weird missionary." – Zac

"I'm not smart enough to have a smart phone." – Mom

"I could be a professional root-beer pourer." – Nate

"Being miserable is fun!" – Zac

Mystery Meat

If you can figure these out, give us a call. Please.

"I have as much chance of becoming a CEO as Zac does of becoming a dress model." – Nate

"Everyone has it. It's abnormal." – Nate

"I've been dishing out the callings and releases like a rastaman shares ghanja." – Zac

"She is not supposed to be some old creepy guy." – Nate

"Like I said ... I never said it!" – Dad

"I predict that my prediction is a better prediction than your prediction." – Dad

"Call me Elder Vader." – Zac

"Don't judge a song by its sound." – Megan

"It's sad, it's creepy, and I love it." – Mom

"You're enabling me to be an enabler." – Cati

Conversations

Around here, lively repartee is never in short supply.

Cati: "Why are you a genius?"

Mom: "I don't know."

Pam: “What do you want to do for your birthday?”

Tabby: “Can I have a surprise party?”

Mom: "Are we gonna eat, people?"

Nate: "Commas are important."

Cati: "What game is that?"

Megan: "Flappy Bird."

Cati: "Ohhh. Is it like Angry Birds?"

Megan: "No, this is more frustrating and it makes you want to throw your phone or tablet and it makes you scream and it's the game of the devil. You should play it."

Dad: "When they do that, it really curdles my tacos."

Nate: "I would ask you to explain, but don't."

Mom: "Nate, I need you to do a really good job vacuuming."

Nate points to a comic-book character named Rat saying: "Nature abhors a vacuum."

Mom, reciting Mosiah 3:19: "Putteth off the natural man."

Dad: "Are you going to sleep?"

Megan: "No."

Dad: "What are you doing?"

Megan: "Sleeping."

Megan: "Don't steal my money."

Nate: "What money?"

Megan: "I don't know. Just in case there's money."

Dad: "You ruined everything by waking up when I was trying to wake you up."

Nate: "I'm sorry I woke up when you were trying to wake me up."

Mom: "Do you remember studying Lewis and Clark?"

Zac: "Of course. They invented the western part of the United States."

Dad: "No violence while we worship!"

Zac: "But Dad, I won! So it doesn't matter."

Nate: "I'm the family scapegoat."

Megan: "Yes you are."

Dad: "Somebody's gotta do it."

Megan: "I know it looks like I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a skirt under here."

Zac: "You're still not wearing pants."

Nate: Look how sticky this thing is.

Dad: That thing is sticky!

Nate: Yeah, it's like STICKY sticky!

Dad: It's RIDICKY-sticky!

Nate: “You really want 12 children?”

Tabby: “Yeah! OK, maybe eight.”

Nate: “I'm sure you'll change your mind after you go into labor.”

Nate: "What if all your kids are infertile?"

Dad: "Then I'll sue."

Nate: "Sue? Who ya gonna sue?"

Dad: "The economy."

Nate: "Stop tickling me. I'm trying to grab your ear with my toes."

Dad: "I KNOW! Why do you think I'm tickling you?!"

Dad: "How come it's not 'five rizzle' or 'six rizzle'? Why is it always ‘four rizzle'?"

Nate: "I'm just going to pretend you didn't just say that sentence."

Nate: "He who is without skin ..."

Dad: "... should cast the first bone."

Tabby: "No woman's gonna marry you for that toe."

Nate: "If someone wants to marry me for my toes, I don't want to marry them."

Zac: "Why is everyone speaking in third person?"

Nate: "Nate's not speaking in third person."

Zac: "I'm gonna stab you."

Zac: "I bet this would be a fun game to play when you're high."

(Dad starts to add Zac's remark to the Quotes of the Year list.)

Zac: "You're gonna write that down? Oh no! People are going to wonder what happened to me! They'll say, 'He just got back from his mission!'"

Cati: "Yeah. In Jamaica ..."

Dad: "Megan, Santa's gonna put coal in your birthday stocking."

Zac: "Santa needs to stand down. That's not his jurisdiction."

Well, that's it! We hope you enjoyed this year's edition of the Strickland Family Quotes of the Year! About this time in 2015, watch out for another sampling of our ... uniqueness. Merry Christmas!